“Asking” someone to do something vs “Telling” them to do something

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question answer

Difference between asking and telling

The difference between asking and telling someone not to do something is that telling someone is more direct. 

[Tweet “It is much more polite to ask someone to do something rather than tell someone to do something.”]

Look at these examples:

  • Don’t touch the painting! (Telling)
  • Please could you not touch the painting? (Asking)
  • Don’t play football on the grass! (Telling)
  • Please could you not play football on the grass? (Asking)


It is much more polite to ask someone to do something rather than tell someone to do something.

So, if in doubt, ask before telling!

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Bryan Vestal
Guest
6 months ago

I find that please is inappropriate to use anytime, especially how it is commonly used before action verbs to attempt to make an order more respectful. Action verbs starting a sentence signify telling to me. Instead of “Please could you not touch the painting?” I like stating facts like “Touching the painting is not allowed.”
https://medium.com/age-of-awareness/a-more-perfect-communication-8110c456835b