This is my aspirational class self-nomination for year 8. Any suggestions on how to make it better? How can I make it more convincing?

0
656

I firmly believe that I am a suitable student for a class of aspirational learners. Personally, I aspire to be a great learner and also achieve high standards all the time. I am also committed to homework and study. I always catch up on schoolwork and homework no matter what. I want to be challenged every day because I believe it helps me reach great standards and perform to the best of my abilities.

Hello, I am just going to go through your paragraph and see what improvements I would make. Be assured that these are just suggestions.

Firstly, instead of saying you are a “suitable” student I would use another word like “exemplary” or “model.” The word “suitable” conveys the thought of someone who is mediocre at what they do or someone who does not strive to succeed. “Exemplary” is a much more positive word and makes you seem like a leader.

I would also rewrite the second sentence as “Personally, I aspire to be a great learner while achieving high standards all the time.” It seems fluid and conveys an “active” feeling. Other than that, your paragraph is very well-written. Take what you want from what I have said but I hope I have been a help.

Subscribe
Notify of
guest
0 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments