Today, we are going to talk about how to ask out a girl. This post is written by a guy. So it is written from a guy’s perspective. Buckle-up because we are in for a ride!
Now, the dating ritual for humans is quite complicated. Other animals have it pretty easy. Think about it. Birds just have to dance to impress and find a mate. Bears just have to fight.
When you ask someone how do you get a girl? Or How do you ask a girl out? The answer is Well, that is complicated.
It took me a while to figure out the rules. While these rules are unwritten, they do exist. Women for the most part, like romance. Even more, they associate fate and magic with romantic feelings.
This doesn’t mean go and learn some magic tricks. This means, you have to create situations that feel like it is magical. You should not go up to a girl and the first thing you say is Do you want to go out with me?
If you are 8 years old and in 1st grade of elementary school, this might work. For adults, this is very awkward. If the woman really likes you (no matter what) then she will say yes.
She will laugh, because it is very straight forward and she will be surprised by how direct you are if you ask by saying, Do you want to go out with me?
You need to create some chemistry. Keep her in suspense on if you have feelings for her. You need to have some mystery about you. Think of it this way. Imagine I have keys and I hang them over your head. But I don’t let you have them. As a human, we want things that we can not have. Therefore, you will want these keys. You will grab for them.
Now imagine I just hand the keys to you. Your desire for these keys is very low. I made it too easy for you. You might even give the keys back to me.
Make the woman want you. Make her grab for you. Don’t give yourself up so easily. There needs to be some element of a challenge. This creates this magical feeling that women want. In other words, don’t be drooling over her, from far away, so that it is obvious that you like her. Don’t stare her down and lock eyes with her.
Create magic. Make it seem like you two accidentally locked eyes (look at each other).
Don’t have a big goofy smile on your face when she sees you. Don’t frown. You need to have a poker face (this is an expressionless and emotionless face). Why? Remember, you need to create mystery. When she looks at you, she should be thinking: Does this guy like me? If your face gives it away with a huge smile, like no woman has ever looked at you before, then the game is over.
So when you look at her and her eyes meet your eyes, don’t let your expression tell her that you are interested. This is a card game and you can’t let the other player know you have a good set of cards.
Then, don’t look away first! Women like confident men. This is an important quality for them. Show her you are confident and don’t look away first. After she looks away, then you can look away. Remember, you want to create magic.
If she looks away first, then you have the upper hand. She will begin to have romantic feelings for you. She will start to wonder if she likes you. Next, you need to confidently walk up to her. The way you walk is very important. If you show that you are nervous or that you have any weakness, that magical feeling that you created earlier will melt away. You need to walk with absolute confidence.
How can you do this? Well, practicing will help you. You need to change your mental image of yourself. Your chest needs to be up and so does your face. Your chin needs to be pointed slightly up so that you project an image of confidence. Imagine that you are the owner of the building that you are in. Imagine that you own the street that you are walking down. If you are in a bar, then you are the owner of that bar. Imagine that you own that bar. You can kick anyone out. You should have a lot of confidence. Go a step further. You own the building that the bar is in.
More, you own the entire block and all of the buildings on that block. Use this image of yourself and walk up to her with confidence! Now, let me tell you that pick-up lines do not work! They are cheesy (inferior and unconvincing) and women do not like them.
- Asking the woman, Did it hurt?
- She responds, Did what hurt?
- Then saying, Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? (Because she is as beautiful as an angel).
These pick-up lines are not original and women have heard them before.
If they have heard them before from other guys, then you are just like those other guys.
That is not what you want. You are different. You are unlike any other guy she has ever met before. Show her this and do not use a pick-up line.
I would suggest that you compliment her in some way. Do not compliment her on her eyes, because many other guys have done that and you will be just like those other guys.
You could start by introducing yourself. (With confidence. Don’t have a weak voice. Remember you own the block!)
- You could say: “Hey, I am _______ (your name here). What’s your name?”
Pay attention to their name. Women like guys who listen to them. Show them that you are different and that you will listen to her. (Let’s pretend her name is Jessica)
Repeat her name back to her like this:
- Jessica, it is nice to meet you.
Now you can use this introduction for everyone that you meet. Just make sure you pay attention to their name and repeat it back to them.
Congratulations, you have broken the ice, you have started the conversation. Most guys won’t get this far! Now this next part is where you need to be creative. You could ask them what they are drinking and make a comment on that.
- You ask, What are you drinking?
- She says, “I am drinking a Manhattan.”
You could say something about her character.
- You say, That sounds like it is sophisticated, are you a sophisticated woman?
You could also make a comment about what she is wearing. Why do women dress up? They do not do this to impress men. They do this to compete with other women. They are trying to look the best in the room. They are competing with the other women in the room. Women spend a lot of time on what they look like before they go out. They probably tried on 4 dresses before choosing the dress that they are wearing.
Complement them on that dress or outfit. Make them think that their dress made them the most attractive woman in the room.
You could say something like:
- You look nice in that dress. You really stand-out in the room. (Stand-out means she is remarkably superior compared to others)
After she thanks you, you need to find out if she is single. You also can to find out if she is single if you asked her about what she was drinking. After either question, find out if she is single.
You should NEVER say, Do you have a boyfriend? This is weak and makes you look desperate. Listen, adults do not use this word. Children use the words boyfriend and girlfriend. You are NOT a child, you are a MAN.
Here are some ways you can find out if she has a boyfriend:
- Are you seeing someone?
- Do you have a significant other?
- Are you currently in a relationship?
If she says, Yes, she is in a relationship or she has a boyfriend, then move on. Find someone else. You don’t want this drama. If she says, No, then DO NOT ASK her on a date. This is not how it works! This comes later.
Your next move is to get her phone number. Do you have a working pen? No? Then get one and bring it before this step! Oh, what about my phone? Can’t I just enter it into my phone? Remember, you are different. Prove it! Do NOT ask her for her phone number yet.
Most women have a defense system in place when guys ask them for their phone number. This is like a wall that goes up. It is not a physical wall, but it is present and you can feel it. You need to get her number without making her alarms go off. What do you say after she says that she is not seeing anyone?
- You say, Do you have email?
- She says, Yes.
- You hand her the pen (that you have) and say, Write it for me.
Why do I suggest asking for her email? I do this because giving out your email is harmless. If women give out their phone number, a guy could call a thousand times! It gets really annoying. Have you ever had debt collectors call you? They call a million times. I only paid the bill to get the phone to stop ringing! (I am kidding, I am responsible.)
With an email, what is the worst thing that you could do? Write a hundred emails? She could easily delete them. Emails are silent. Her wall won’t go up. But you don’t want her email. You want her phone number.
So, back to your question.
- You say, Do you have email?
If she says, No then you need to make fun of her. Gain the upper hand. Take the power from her so that magic is created and she wants to impress you.
- You could say something like, No, email? You do realize that it is 2017?
Women always get defensive when I say this.
- Then I joke with them and say, Okay, what is your carrier pigeon’s name? Or I will say, What is your Morse code?
Make fun of them a little. This creates attraction and it shows them that you are funny. Note: Women love men who can make them laugh. It is constant entertainment for them. If the woman said, No. The woman will find a way for you to contact her. Either she will give me her email or her phone number.
Now, let’s say that she is writing her email.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HER WRITING HER EMAIL, ASK FOR HER PHONE NUMBER!
- You say, And write your phone number too.
I use this strategy because when she is writing her email, in her mind she is already giving you information. Her defense mechanism is down. The psychology is that when she is writing her email, she is ready to give you her phone number too. Now, the next step is important.
Once she hands you back the piece of paper or napkin (from the bar) you look at the number and examine it.
- Then you say, Are you going to answer if I call this number?
Some women give false phone numbers and they also give false names. Most women want the power back and they will say, No and then they will smile and wait for my response. That is what I am hoping for…
- I give them back the piece of paper. I say, Here, I don’t need this.
And then what do they do? They push the piece of paper back to me, literally forcing me to take their number. So in the woman’s mind, they want me to take their number. Make sure you write their name on the piece of paper later. Don’t do this in front of them!
Now, you have to play the game of when to call them. Don’t call them immediately! What are you going to do? Call them 5 seconds after you get their phone number?
- What would you say? Hi, it’s me. I am calling you now. And wave while you are doing it? ABSOLUTELY NOT!
In my opinion you wait 2 days. This helps create suspense as if you are going to call or not. Any longer than that and she might forget who you are. Now we get to the part where you ask her out. You need to keep the conversation short. You will have plenty of time to talk during your date.
You call her 2 days after getting her phone number.
Here is what you say:
Hi, it is _________ (your name) we met in the bar (or where ever) 2 days ago. I made a comment about your drink/your dress. I am calling to see if you would like to meet up for some tea and some stimulating conversation.
This dialogue is perfect. You don’t want to say, Do you want to meet sometime?
- You could say, Are you available for some tea and some stimulating conversation?
- You could also say, Are you free to meet for some tea and some stimulating conversation?
You need to have a place in mind to meet. You should choose a nice tea or coffee place that is close to you. You do not want to have to travel far in case she flakes out (she doesn’t come). Pick a location close to where you live.
- Ask her, When would you be available?
I find having a date on the weekend, during the afternoon, is best.
Do not pick a movie. You sit there in silence and you do not get to talk. Besides, everyone does that and you are different! Now go out there to start asking women out! Best of luck!